GAH!

These may be the boots of my dreams.  Not the look, which is rather basic really.  But the fact that they could very possibly succeed in doing what no boot has ever done before... accommodate my giant calves!  You know, I never considered myself to have huge calves, but since hunting for something as simple as basic black riding boots, it has come to my attention quite glaringly that yes, indeed, I possess calves of monstrous proportions.  Two decades of ballet class clearly does not help one find footwear, that's for damn sure.  

So these lovelies not only possess the basic visual requirements, but also have a full side zipper, and best of all... wait for it... the ENTIRE back is stretchy fabric elastic!  It's the pregnancy pant of boots!  These babies should surely mold to the unnaturally large size of the gastrocnemius, no?

The only dilemma?  They Do.  Not.  Have.  My.  Size.

Surely sadder words were never spoken (ahem, typed).

I may have to go ahead and just order half a size larger anyway, in the vague hopes that the stars will align and they will fit.  

What?  A recession?  What?  Unemployed?  

Oh.

Right...

Note:  Suggestions from other owners of large calves are welcome.

{Tahari Women's TA Cindy} 

Hello Lovers

And don't they look comfy too?!

{Elie Tahari Addison Ballet Flats}

Ode to Little Mac

My computer keeps shutting itself down.  It keeps going to sleep.  Little Macbook please WAKE UP.  I need you I need you I need you.  Last night my sister's iPod died after a dedicated five years of continuous use.  Now this.  NOW THIS.  "Apple is smiting us!"  That's what she said.  I'm beginning to agree.  Mac you are not even 18 months old.  You have a long life ahead of you.  Recharge your batteries for goodness sakes.  Stop playing these games with me.  Stop being so coy.  Stop saying you are 48% charged and then just slipping into a computer coma - a technological darkness - an Apple nightmare.  Please.  Please.  They said I should tuck you in and put you to sleep so you have time to think about what you've done.  Turn you off?  I don't quite understand.  What will I do for two hours.  TWO HOURS?  Read.  Watch TV?  Eat.  (Yes, that is most likely.  The chocolate chip banana muffins are calling).  I don't quite know how to spend my time without you by my side, softly buzzing, shining up at me sweetly and offering up all of this brilliance you have stored in your genius mind.  Mac, I can't do it without you.  Wake up wake up wake up.  There is no substitute.  You can't be replaced.  Sweet dreams dear Mac, I'll be here waiting when you open your eyes...

{Photo by [Laurence] via frolic}

Page 42

His voice is beautiful.  Its texture is fine-woven wool.  If it had a color it would be a warm chestnut.  In tone, in fluidity, in resonance, it is all that a man's voice should be, with just that hint of Scottish burr, thinner than the skin of varnish on his oak lectern, giving necessary hardness.  He rides straight up the walls of his sentences.  His little pauses are sensuous gateways, without which his listeners would fall into a trance.

- The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields

Page 252

What is it that makes Cuyler Goodwill walk home at the end of the day with the sun still hot and yellow overhead, what makes him whistle the way he does?  I've already said he likes to stretch his cramped muscles after his hours of toil, and I imagine - this is a particular fancy of mine - that he likes to extend his very limbs, to feel himself grow taller, bigger, stronger as he moves closer to home, closer to the man he is about to become.  A husband.  A lover.  He is awaited.  This is an unlooked-for gift of happiness - to be awaited. 

- The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields

Page 15

Such thoughts are more and more with her.  Her brain has been running wild these last months.  She is a woman whose desires stand at the bottom of a cracked pitcher, waiting.

Even now, hanging out the wash, she is faint with long, but for what?  Embrace me, she says to the dripping sheets and pillowslips, hold me.  

- The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields

Everything is Beautiful at the Ballet

It always takes me a few days (or weeks) to recover from the ballet.  I spend the entire program swooning.  Sometimes crying (the beauty/the jealous/etc. etc.).  Clapping til my hands are raw.  

Then I leave the theater and get on a train to schlep back to the middle of nowhere and feel like crying because I want to 

a) live in the city (or a city. or just a more populated area that does not require a 2-hr trip to NYC.) 

b) have enough money to go to the ballet approximately once a week 

c) be half - no, one quarter - as magnificent as NYC Ballet's dancers

Not too much to ask, no?

Anyway, last night was glorious, as usual.  I got to revisit my old lunchtime haunt for some Greek salad perfection, pita, and melt-in-your-mouth fried eggplant.  We had fabulous seats.*  And, best of all, I wasn't disappointed by the program.  

I have the worst time selecting which program to attend, mainly because if I had my way I would attend every single one of them.  So, when forced to choose, I very juvenilely select based on the little photos NYC Ballet posts on their Web site.  Right.  A very educated and informed process.  

I tend to enjoy more contemporary pieces, so typically stay away from anything involving mountains of tulle.  I prefer the streamlined look of basic leotard/bodysuit (aka near-nudity) so you can really see the lines and incredible athleticism of the dancers.  

I was pleasantly surprised by Brahms-Schoenberg Quartet, which has some rather unflattering fluffy costumes, but amazing choreography.  But then again, it's Balanchine.  Of course it's fantastic.  

I was particularly smitten with Ratmansky's Concerto DSCH.   It was amazing.  He is amazing.  The dancers are amazing.  Amazingness all around.  

Also, Sterling Hylton is absolutely fantastic.  

And Wendy Whelan.  Well, there's really nothing much more to say.  Just.  Wendy Whelan.  

In conclusion, I'd just like to say that if you've never been to the ballet, you should really go.  I think that people tend to have all kinds of misconceptions about the ballet.  That it's for wealthy snobs.  For obsessed balletomanes.  For old folk.**  It's boring.  Dull.  Old-fashioned.  And this is simply not the case.  Companies are incorporating such fabulous contemporary pieces into their repertory that it's really worth checking out.***

Do YOU enjoy the ballet?****

PS - I forgot the most important part of the story.  Which was that because of the snow and slush and incessant rain I wore rainboots - RAINBOOTS - to the ballet.  My new black Hunter rainboots.  With black tights.  And a red skirt.  But still.  RAINBOOTS.  I am beyond ashamed.  But it was so rainy.  And slushy.  And I had my beautiful new BCBG tulip skirt all set and ready to go but then I looked outside at the puddles and the ickyness and I thought, well that's not going to happen is it?  And so I ended up in rainboots.  (And the best part?  Of course the minute I got to NYC, it had STOPPED raining.  Tragic.)

*I should mention that the only way this unemployed girl was able to justify a night out at the ballet was because NYC Ballet was offering a brilliant "buy 1, get one 1/2 off" deal that really just couldn't be passed up.

**Don't get me wrong, older generations do seem to have a greater appreciation for the ballet.  This could be evidenced by the sea of silver hair that surrounded us last night.  But it doesn't matter.  They just know something that the younger generations don't.  GO!

***Take Morphoses/The Wheeldon Company - Wheeldon's goal is to re-establish ballet as a prominent, accessible art form and show that it can be sexy.

****I finally convinced Jared to accompany me last winter.  He was not a fan.  (Though, even I admit it was not the most stimulating program.)  I'm hoping he'll give it a second chance!  (It is likely that he is shaking his head and cackling and saying "hell no" as he reads this).  

Exactly What an Author's Home Should Look Like

Bookshelves as far as the eye can see.  A ladder.  Sloped ceilings.  Wooden beams.  Cozy chairs galore.  Perfect.

{Photos by The Selby}

Question

Well, clearly I am not the only one experiencing a quarter-life crisis, and I don't quite know if that's comforting or even more worrisome.  No, I'm not alone.  However, I'd like to think at some point I'll find a job that makes me happy and I'll be in a place (physically/emotionally/blahblahblah) where I can be content.  

Whitney posted on this subject yesterday, and I was shocked by the number of people who commented all saying the same exact thing - that they're all struggling to balance their passions and creativity with paying the bills.  And I suppose I'm naive for finding this surprising in the first place.  But it's nerve wracking for a confused 23 year old to read that a graphic designer and interior designer feel that their creativity is stifled and that they're really living up to their full potential.  If THEY aren't feeling creative, then sheesh.  Is there any hope for the rest of us?

Anyway, in the comments section someone posted this personality test/career assessment and it is truly the most BIZARRE test I've ever taken.  It asks you questions but you respond by selecting a photograph.  Very interesting indeed.

(Though, I must admit I was not 100% convinced with it's accuracy - do not see myself as a detective/scientist/researcher, nor can I say I am dealing with a "fast paced life" - though I wish I was!)

Here's what it told me.  

What are your results?  Do you think it's accurate?  

I'd love to hear!

{Photo by KaosBrutal (return of the eccentricity)}

Tomorrow!

I .  Cannot.  Wait.

{Photo via NYC Ballet}

xoxo

{By Ellie Cryer via Design for Mankind}

Words to Live By

{via Designgeist}

Around the Web

The WSJ calls New Jersey "America's secret treasure-house of culture" - it's about time someone tried to clear the Garden State's bad rap.

A lighting designer creates a breathtaking field of lights.

When business is slow, employees concoct plans to look busy.

Two women say goodbye to solo living in exchange for a monstrous loft that allows the perfect balance of independence and togetherness.

I think I'd like to make a list like this - it's always good to have goals.

{Photo by KaosBrutal (return of the eccentricity)}

Book Lust

I'm all in a tizzy, bustling around and doing errands and sending some pitches and fielding a potential possible little job thingy and am getting emotionally and physically flustered.  As in, butterflies inundating tummy.  Eek!  I'm just staring at these happy yellow doors and the massive bookshelf in the hopes that they'll calm me.

{Photo via Apartment Therapy}

Kitchen Envy

Shockingly I find myself drawn to this kitchen even though ALL of the cabinets aren't white.  But there are enough to satiate me.  And the splash of wood makes it look simultaneously elegant and cozy, don't you think?

{Photo via Desire to Inspire}

Friday Night

Jared and I went into the city Friday night to see a great band play downtown at The Bitter End.  We had also planned on schleping out to Brooklyn for a Modern Skirts show beforehand, but ended up surrendering that plan because it seemed overly ambitious.  Honestly, it was challenging enough to find the motivation to leave Jared's house at 7 p.m.  It was so dark.  And so cold.  And we're clearly so elderly at heart.

Anyway, once we managed to tear ourselves out of pj's and away from kittens, we had a decent chunk of time before the show, and decided to attempt Serendipity - aka Dessert Mecca.  Miraculously, we only had to wait a half hour (in the past we've typically waited up to 3 hours), before we were seated and ordered (puhlease, no need for a menu, we get the same thing every time), and noshing on glorious mouthwatering chocolate heaven.

The famous Frrrozen Hot Chocolate

And YuDuFunDu (aka an excuse to eat that thick fudgey chocolate perfection with a spoon)

Glorious.  Cannot wait to go back again soon.  Perhaps we'll even expand our horizons and try something new.  Or not.  

Kitchen Envy

{Photo via Desire to Inspire}

Words to Live By

{Print by elisejoy via The Lil Bee}

Stop And Listen

"A man stood in a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

...In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats averaged $100.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.  The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty?  Do we stop to appreciate it?  Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?"

I stole this summary directly from I Heart You, because I felt I couldn't say it any better myself.  For the full rundown, go here.

{via I Heart You}

Insight

{Prints by ohkayk via Thoughtful Day}

Demon Kittens Take Over the Kitchen

This video is from a few weeks ago, and the kittens have since gotten even MORE demon-like.  Seriously.  They have all kinds of pent up energy flowing thru their crazy little paws, which translates into me and Jared chasing them around the house and trying to combat their claws. 

This is kind of long - and perhaps only fascinating to the obsessed (aka me) - but if you crank up the volume it provides a pretty good soundtrack to the bizarre birdy noises that Pippi makes all day long.  

You'll also note the end drama of this video:  I'm filming the cuteness.  Pippi attempts to make a break for it YET AGAIN by slinking past the doggie gate, which I have already (unsuccessfully) attempted to block with Jared's ginormous shoe.  You can almost see her going "Seriously?  This paltry shoe is supposed to stop me?" and she knocks it down and squeezes her little body thru the gate.  At which point you see my Ugg as it attempts to frantically climb over the gate to stop her.  Which sends the gate crashing down.  And Pippi huddling in fear.  

What this video does NOT show is Pippi taking off at the speed of light and scrambling around the living room.  And the fact that it takes me a good ten minutes of lying facedown on the floor cooing and clucking to coax her out from under chairs and instill trust in human beings again.  Good times.

xoxo

{Photo via Go Comics}

This is What Gluttony Looks Like

Why yes.  That IS a 50 billion egg omelet (mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes, feta), a huge mound of glorious home fries and the crispiest most magical side of melt-in-your-mouth bacon I have ever consumed.

And indeed.  That is an EMPTY PLATE.  

The saddest part?  Approximately ten minutes after this mass-consumption...  I was hungry.  

PS - This pillage took place at The Most Divine Diner in All The Land.  Obviously.

PPS - The bacon really did melt in my mouth.  Like, I barely had to chew!  Amazing how quickly fried fat can dissolve on the tongue!

PPPS - This Skylark trip was particularly necessary because I was there on Monday (yes, I'm a lady who lunches, no comment please) and had a SUPREMELY unsatisfying meal of huevos rancheros.  As in, I wanted to cry.  And my friends were fearful because hell hath no fury like a Kathryn who does not like her food.  This trip was needed to erase the traumatic memory of a terrible meal from the best diner ever.

Need Your Help!

Have you (or your significant other) ever ended a romantic relationship because you "just want to be friends"?

Please tell me about it!

If you do you might be famous! Well, you know, kinda sorta famous. But famous enough to have your brilliant words printed for billions and trillions of eyes to see! (um, please interpret "billions and trillions" lightly) And it can be anonymous! Won't this be a great way to finally vent your bitter feelings towards your ex?

Leave a comment here or email me! I'll love you forever.

{Photo by the hymn for the cigarettes}

10 Reasons That Prove I am a City-Dweller at Heart

And need to get to said city dwelling as soon as humanly possible.

1.  I feel safer in a throng of strangers in Midtown Manhattan than standing in my driveway at night completely alone except for the minor possibility of getting run down by a herd of galloping, pointy-antlered bucks.

2.  I'm done with driving.  I'm sick of highways and potholes and dollar tolls on the Parkway and the psychopathic drivers that inhabit the roads of the great Garden State.  

3.  I want to walk.  Everywhere.  And it'd be super nice to have a destination on said walk, and actually have a change of scenery, rather than seeing the same thirty houses within the mile radius of my house.

4.  I need fresh air.  Ironically, I'm pretty positive that that city living would promote more outdoor-time than my current suburban situation.  See above re. walking.  In suburbia, people really like their minivans and SUVs.  They like to jettison from their houses to their garage to their cars in order to get to their next enclosed destination.  Heaven help me if I ever see a human body OUTDOORS who is not booking it in or out of their car.

5.  I want to stay up late.  It really freaks me out that everything in the area is dark and dismal and 100% closed by 9 p.m.  Seriously, the clock strikes nine and the cars disappear from the roads.  Bright lights and 24/7 possibilities, here I come.

6.  I am the Queen of Peoplewatching.  I need more subjects.  One can only stalk so many red foxes and bunny rabbits, and of course, the deer.

7.  I like background noise.  Nay.  I NEED background noise.  Here in the burbs of NJ it is so completely and utterly silent that it freaks me out.  When I got to college, I was so baffled by the noise that I started leaving a box fan on at night to try and drown out the drunken screams of my peers.  Now, I cannot sleep without said fan.  I need that hum of white noise to fall asleep.  Hello bustling city, sounds like a good noise solution to me!

8.  I like food.  More than a normal person.  Indeed, perhaps one might say I am OBSESSED with food.  And I'm sorry, but I need the culinary options of a city.  I cannot even tell you, truly cannot even put into words, how painfully I miss my city eats.  Everyday when lunchtime rolls around, I start salivating for this or this or this - for the delicious goodness of my old haunts.  

9.  I like dressing nicely.  I like fashion.  I like clothes.  I like shopping.  And I can only stomach so many more velour track suits and running sneakers and Uggs before I freak out and rip them right off every suburban mommy and adolescent teenybopper in sight.  I would like to bask in the well-dressed glory of the urbanites.

10.  Eye candy.  Enough said.  Who knows if it's the money or the gluttony of fashionable industries or the aforementioned fashion sense, but there are simply way more good looking beings to appreciate in a metropolis like NYC.

So once again, I implore you to find me a delightfully overpaid job.  Or just donate to my apartment fund!

Why would YOU want to move to the city?

{Photo by Smosch}

You thought it was over didn't you?

The coat fetish?  Since I did finally manage to find The Perfect Coat?  Yes.  So did I.  

And yet, alas.  Here we are again.  

I don't know if I could pull this one off, but I would sure as hell like to try.

{Opening Ceremony Classic Flare Coat from La Garconne via Vain and Vapid}

"Mating Season"

{by Nisha Matthews via Design for Mankind}

I wish this happened in real life

Because there's nothing better than spontaneous dancing in public places.  

New T-mobile advertisement in London's Liverpool Street Station.

(Video via swissmiss}

New Favorite Time-Waster

I was eyelid-droopingly tired last night, and was headed to bed at the obscenely early hour of 10:45 p.m., all proud of myself for actually giving into the circadian rhythms of my body, when suddenly I looked at the clock and - um, where did that hour go?  Well, that hour was sucked into the black hole that is DailyPuppy.com.  Because seriously, a vomitously cute puppy a day keeps the doctor away.  

I wish you the best of luck at not ohhing and ahhing out loud at work, and rushing immediately to your nearest shelter/pet store/breeder on your lunch break.

PS - That first one, Baxter the Cocker Spaniel/Poodle mix is my very favoritest and I would like him for Valentines Day or my birthday or just for fun (JARED!) thank you.

PPS - Jared this is all your fault anyway because I used to hate animals and now I'm obsessed with your silly felines and now when I go on my afternoon walks I think of how much more delightful it would be if I there was a fluffy little creature bounding along by my side and clearly this is all your fault and therefore you owe me one fluffy hypoallergenic non-shedding non-smelly puppy.

PPPS - I also have a major crush on this little guy.  And wouldn't you know, this is exactly what my imaginary walks look like!

{Photos via DailyPuppy}

Book Lust

Huge windows.  Sunny room.  Window seat.  Simple couch.  Burst of red.  Floor to ceiling (white!) bookshelves stuffed to the brim.  Perfect.

{Photo via Desire to Inspire}

Book Lust

These images are literary porn.  

{Photos by The Selby}

A Better One

I love you more than anything I could think of to complete this sentence.

Scrumptious Charms

I became obsessed with these sweet little Emma-Jane & Tan necklaces after seeing them at a photo shoot while interning at Modern Bride.  This was right in the midst of my charm hunt (a hunt that has been ongoing for approximately a decade and has yet to be fulfilled), and I thought they were the most perfect things ever.  

My mom finally convinced me a) I did NOT have anywhere close to $600 to spend on a necklace and b) I had even less of a reason to spend $600 on a necklace boasting a really sparkly dessert.

She was right (of course) and I didn't buy a yummy charm.  But I still come back to them every couple of months because they always make me smile.  And honestly, if ever there was something that belonged hanging around my neck, nothing seems more fitting than a serving of dessert.

(They also have a really cute NYC pretzel charm, and a slice of pizza!)

{Photo by Emma-Jane & Tan via JenniferKaufman.com}

The Refrigerator Says:

Story of my life.

And with that, I'm off to make myself some pancakes!

{Photo by Keetra Dean Dixon via please sir}

I Love You More Than ____

I tried to resist posting these for a while, because they've already been ALL over the Internet and it felt unnecessarily redundant, but I couldn't deny the fabulousness of it any longer...  What a fantastic project.  Send in your answer over on the blog.

My answer?  

I love you more than oatmeal with chocolate chips and BCBG dresses.

So, how would YOU fill it in?

I love you more than ______.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That sound is my brain it's real hyper right now my brain and my person and my whole family is looking at me with frightened withering stares begging me to take a breath or take a sedative or take anything that's going to silence the buzzing and i don't really know what it is maybe it's because i was unleashed from the house for the first time in days i left the house i left the house! can you believe it? i put on real clothes and i didn't sit in front of the computer for a whole five hours and i saw "bride wars" and kate hudson is super cute although i wasn't really a fan of her hair in that movie she looked kind of old but i still love her anyway and you know anne hathaway got jiggy in that movie she can shake her pale little butt and then i found a planner i think i'm even going to keep it! it's pink! and it has nice monthly spaces and i ran into a dear high school friend who i haven't seen in ages and we chatted in the planner aisle and it was glorious and then we drove home and jenny almost killed us because she failed to yield when getting on the highway no no she just shot right on up there without even pausing and i think maybe the reason i'm so hyper is that i'm embracing life! beautiful life! because she didn't even pause and thank gosh the cars were far enough back that we just made it onto the highway without getting smushed to smithereens and then we came home and apparently i was talking veryloudandveryfast and then we had a really delish dinner shrimp and tomatoes and spinach over rice oh it was so yummy and then i had godiva chocolate and then i flailed on the couch for a bit and then i settled down a bit because no one here wants to play with me do any of you want to play with me? we could dance outside in the snow or go sledding down the hill or run around the block or anything you want do you want to come play with me?

Apartment PERFECTION

Holy Moly. 

I know you're all probably getting super sick of my kitchen/housing obsession (um, actually I know that for a FACT, because SOME people in particular, people whose names are Jenny, who are related to me, ask me each day: "Did you add anything interesting to your blog today that was NOT a kitchen or an apartment or a bookshelf?")  Um.  Point taken.  

But I'm afraid that's not going to stop me.  Because I have an obsessive personality.  And right now I am fixated on beautiful glorious apartments that I can in no way no how ever in life afford or have or nada.  And so nothing will stop me.  Not you.  Not ANYONE.

And Desire to Inspire feeds my obsession daily.  And today they have fed it to the point of oversaturation.  And my obsession is sitting here bloated and happy as I feast upon these glorious NYC apartment photos.  

Go ahead.  Take a bite.

{Photos by ABCD Design via Desire to Inspire}

O'Hara

what are lutes they make ugly twangs and rest on knees in cafes/i want to hear only your light voice running on about florida/as we pass the changing traffic light and buy grapes for wherever/we will end up praising the mattressless sleigh-bed and the/mexican egg and the clock that will not make me know how to leave you 

- Frank O’Hara

Why We Should All Move to Paris

Because even in a casually thrown together space, the gorgeous moldings, heavy duty fireplace, and sky high windows make it a work of art.

{Photo via The Selby}

Just Enough

I love the idea of painting interior doors for a change.  It gives just the right burst of color, without going overboard.

{Photo via frolic!}

The Highlight of My Day

I finally ordered some Harry & David Royal Riviera Pears.  Seriously, you do not even know how excited I am.  Jared's parents get boxes of these babies as gifts every Christmas, and I make it a point to camp out in their home and devour as many as possible.  

A pear's a pear, you might be thinking.  And if that is what you are thinking, let me just say that you are WRONG.  So wrong.  Never has anyone been so misguided.  These juicy bundles of sweetness will revolutionize your life (read:  never again will you be able to eat a pear from the grocery store again).  They are life-altering.  

They are also a bit pricey - usually $30 for 7 to 11 pears - but I swear to you it is worth every penny.  PLUS the whole reason I allowed myself to splurge on them is that they are currently very on sale, and being shipped FREE.  So, recession be damned, I will have my pears.  

(Note:  I have been whining about this potential purchase for approximately three weeks, but Daddy said "It's a recession why are you buying pricey pears!?" and Mama said "I'll get you pears from Wegmans," and so I felt very guilty about laying down somewhat excessive dollars for a piece of fruit but Mama finally begged me to buy the damn pears because she couldn't take my blubbering for another minute I finally gave in.  

And now I am so happy.  Because these pears make me deliriously happy.  And I figure I owe it to myself, unemployment and stinky economy and all, to improve the state of my mental wellbeing.  I will be awaiting your arrival with bated breath pears.  I can't wait to sink my teeth into your flesh.

The 2009 NYC No Pants Subway Ride

Hilarious.  

{Video via Color me Katie}

Brilliant!

From someone whose worst nightmare is the stench of food pervading my house/clothes/hair, these "get the stink out of your home" tips were my favorite find of the day!  Boiling lemons.  Genius!

Postcups

Bailey Doesn't Bark is clearly my new favorite.  I know you all thought the ants were creepy, but aren't these little postcups the cutest?

{Photo from Bailey Doesn't Bark via Design Milk}
 

Needed: Employee to "Laze Around Tropical Paradise"

Um, seriously.

The Australian government is looking for someone to hang out on the beach for a couple of months to promote tourism.

"Island caretaker" will be expected to stroll the white sands, snorkel the reef, take care of "a few minor tasks" -- and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.

Let's all apply, shall we?

{Photo via here, article courtesty of The Danger Zone}